Blurry
by InnocentFighter
Summary: He woke up surrounded by darkness, it took him a few seconds to figure if he was actually still asleep or if he was awake. But for those few joyous seconds he thought he had finally left the world of pain. Angst! AU! Rin!centered
1. Blurry

**Original Prompt: Write an angst AU with Rin ultimately losing to Haru**

**Yo. So this was a fun prompt considering this was done for a friend, this is the longest prompt fill I've done up to date. How wicked is that? So Angst. I'm also entering as an official fanfiction writer of the Free! Fandom now. I've been with it for a while now, but I never did anything. So please take my introduction graciously.**

**Note: Any errors will be edited out tomorrow. I'm seriously tired, but I wanted to get this posted lest I forget. **

**DISCLAIMER I DO NOT OWN FREE! **

* * *

_This had to be what it felt like to drown. _Rin thought.

The air in his lungs had been forcibly been shoved out; and no matter how much he gasped for air he couldn't get enough in his lungs. It was as if they were already full to the brim with the despair he was feeling and there was no longer room for air.

He wasn't crying, he refused to cry as Haru had told him that much, but also because his pride wouldn't allow it. He'd been standing evaluating the results, and suddenly the ground beneath him pitched wildly like the sea before a storm, sending him crashing to the ground.

Of course he was aware that the ground hadn't moved at all, that his knees couldn't take the weight of his loss any longer.

He was forced to his knees because of how much his loss weighed on him.

Though he never took his eyes off of score board. He was second, and still fast enough to qualify for the next round, but he was behind the one person he swore he would no longer lose to.

Haru.

Rin was still struggling for air, the despair having grown even more in the few seconds between him standing and kneeing on the concrete.

The sound of the cheering crowd soon became a white noise, and eventually dying out. Almost as if he could only focus on that damned board.

Black started to encroach on his vision, effectively blurring the rest of his vision so that the only thing he could see was the times that he was only behind by seven tenths of a second.

Something stepped in front of him, dully he noted that it was a swimmer, if the swim shorts were anything to go by. Familiar swim shorts.

Rin managed to raise his gaze enough to see the face of who was standing in front of him. He bit back the sound that he wanted to make at who it was.

"Rin…" Haru trailed off as if he wasn't sure what he should say.

Rin's pride finally kicked in, he shoved himself off of the ground, trying to look completely stable, his chest still hurt but at least it was accepting air now, he knew that his legs wanted to give out again, the loss still weighed heavily on him.

He didn't trust his voice well enough to speak. So instead he turned on his heel and walked away from the other teen. He didn't dare look back to see what kind of face the other was making.

* * *

It was impressive that he managed to get to the team locker room without falling or running into people that he didn't want to see. But the moment that he reached the bench he slumped down on it, and buried his face into his hands.

How did he lose? He should've been able to win without any issue, but instead he lost.

He didn't make a sound, he wasn't able to. His lungs were filling up with that unknown feeling, which he just labeled as despair, and the weight of his loss pushed heavily on his back making him double into himself.

Time seemed to be stationary, the final round of the tournament should be coming quickly, but he was unsure if he could compete. His school would be counting on him yes, though with how he was feeling now he doubted that he could actually stand again.

He heard something that sounded like a final call, though his hearing seemed to be failing. Attempting to stand, his legs gave out the moment that he placed all of his weight on them. He missed the bench next to him and instead came crashing to the floor, aware that he would have bruises from the landing. The ground was cool, he noted, and it felt wonderful. Almost comforting.

Since no one was around, and wouldn't be for a while, Rin rested his head on his arm and closed his eyes.

"Rin-senpai?"

_Ah, that voice…Ai? _

Rin opened his eyes slowly and only partially. He was met with the concerned gaze of his roommate.

The other teen looked slightly relieved. Rin could only wonder why.

"You didn't come when they called your name for the final. Everyone got really worried and started to look for you. Even the guys from Iwatobi!"

Rin unconsciously winced at the name. Instead he stood up, slower than normal, more cautiously as well. He felt how stiff he was from laying on the concrete floor. He turned his gaze toward Ai.

"Senpai?" Ai tilted his head at the gaze. "Oh right! I have to tell everyone that I found you!"

Rin said nothing but watched at Nitori quickly sent a text out. Seconds later he heard the phone buzz.

"Captain said that we should meet up with the team at the bus." Nitori reported.

Rin shrugged. The smaller teen looked startled at the lack of response, but it was quickly covered up with an unreadable expression

"Come on!"

Rin followed after the energetic teen. He looked around keeping alert for any signs of Iwatobi, finding none, he was content with following after his roommate.

"Nitori, Rin!" Seijuro called.

Rin looked up at the swim captain. Noticing that for the first time his vision was slightly blurry. He rubbed at his eyes, and that seemed to take care of the problem. Too late he realized that he was being addressed.

"Rin!" Seijuro snapped.

The red-head tilted his head towards the other.

"Why didn't you swim at the final?" The captain didn't look scolding, instead a little concerned.

Instead of answering he shoved passed his captain and climbed onto the bus, taking the single seat in the back of the buss and resting his head against the window. He didn't even care about the assortment of looks he was receiving, he just wanted to sleep.

Which is exactly what he did.

But by no means was it restful, nor was it meant to be.

* * *

He didn't dream, think, or remember. It was just an endless black void which removed him from the world, for a time. Nothing happened and nothing could hurt him. It was the reality that he longed for.

He easily slept through the ride back, but when he became apparent of some of the teams stares, that had turned from condemning to concerned, he wanted to fall right back into that endless void. Though it didn't escape him that he had cried while he was asleep, but he could not fathom the reason for the tears, there was nothing hurt him while he was asleep. So why? Even after he had promised himself he wouldn't.

The bus pulled to a stop in front of the school and he slowly pulled himself into a standing position, making him the last one off of the bus.

He headed towards his dorm the second his feet touched the sidewalk, not even caring that his team was talking about their usual post-tournament dinner. Unlocking the door to his room, he tossed his bag off to the side and laid down in the bed.

His body didn't need the rest, having taken long naps earlier in the day, but his mind won over tired from the strain that it had placed on him.

He fell right back into the void where nothing existed, not even him. There was no people, no laughter, no losing, no sadness, and maybe most importantly no swimming.

* * *

The pattern of him staying awake only as long as needed progressed for a few weeks, nobody was willing enough to approach him about it, and he knew and didn't care. Ai was trying his best to engage him in small games or conversation, but it didn't work.

Rin hadn't spoken since before _that _race. Because he knew now that it was the final race that he would ever have. He had raced Haru three times, and lost twice, he hated those odds so he stopped it there.

After almost a full month of this odd behavior Rin was called into the hallway by Seijuro. The captain had this concerned look on his face.

"Rin…"

The mentioned boy looked up, his eye blank.

The captain sighed and tried a different tactic. "How's your sister?"

Rin shrugged.

The captain's eyebrow twitched. "Don't you talk with her?"

Another shrug.

"Dammit Rin!" Seijuro bellowed.

Rin looked up at the sudden loudness. His eyes were blurring again, he closed them tightly and opened them once more. His vision was clear enough.

Seijuro had started going on about something and Rin had zoned out again. But he returned when fingers where snapping in his face.

"Are you even listening? You've been skipping practice! Once or twice after you lost I could understand and even forgive, but now we're lucky if we see you once a week!"

Rin shrugged yet again.

"Stop fucking shrugging! You have one chance to give me a single good reason to not kick you off of this team until you get your shit together!"

Somewhere inside of him Rin was shrinking at the captain's harsh words, but he kept his gaze focused on a point past Seijuro's shoulder. He had never heard the other cuss.

"I'm waiting." Seijuro had his arms crossed, looking expectant.

Time passed between them but the silence was growing more and more strained. Until the russet haired teen threw his hands up in exasperation.

"That's it! Until you sort out whatever shit you have, you are suspended from the team!"

Rin shrugged again, with a brief look of something akin to his usual rebelliousness in his eyes, before turning and walking away.

He didn't turn back even if he was certain that he heard his name being called by someone. His vision once again blurred but he quickly rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hand.

* * *

Without swim practice to keep him from going straight back to bed, Rin was sleeping more and more, each time it got harder to pull himself from the black void.

The void itself was changing, and he couldn't tell if it was good thing or a bad thing.

He was surprisingly awake one evening when Ai walked in from swim practice. When Rin watched as his roommate lit up in surprise.

"Rin-senpai!" Ai greeted happily.

Rin didn't acknowledge that Ai had said anything. He continued to stare up at the bottom of the other bed.

"You're usually asleep by now, did you want to do something?" Ai chatted on as if Rin hadn't blatantly ignored him.

Rin shifted towards the wall, his back turned towards the smaller teenager, closing his eyes.

"Oh, if you're tired I guess we can do something later! I have a lot of homework to do anyway." Ai sighed.

Rin could imagine the downcast look on the other. He should feel guilty about what he had done to the other boy, but he couldn't bring himself to care, all he wanted was that endless black.

That and his eyes to stop blurring at inopportune times.

* * *

School was let out for two days for maintenance, and it just happened that it was before a weekend. Rin ignored the other students as the chatted happily about what they were going to do over their small break.

He headed straight to his dorm. He jiggled the knob in curiosity to see if it was open or not, as it turned out it was. He shrugged and pushed open the door. Ai was sitting at the desk reading some sort of novel but looked up when the door was open.

"Senpai!" Ai chirped. His eyes followed Rin as he sprawled on his bed.

Rin stared up at the bottom of the bed, he had less energy than normal today, and it had to be due to the excitement that seemed to fill the student body for the last hour of classes.

"That movie that you were talking about few weeks ago came out this weekend. Want to go see it?" Ai asked, his voice slightly hopeful.

Rin did as he had done a few days ago and turned his back against Ai.

There was silence for a second, the Ai spoke again, his happiness was clearly forced. "We can wait until it comes out on DVD right? It's more fun to watch it in your own space anyway."

Rin had stopped listening after the first few words. His eyes shut, and the rest of him turned off so that all he had was nothingness.

Over the long weekend Ai continued to invite Rin on small outings, but every time that he asked, Rin would just turn his back and face away from him.

Rin was awake for once. Ai had cooked lunch and he was eating it slowly. For once his roommate was silent. Which Rin didn't mind so much.

"Rin-senpai?" Ai asked quietly.

Nothing came from the swimmer.

"I know losing to Nanase-senpai must've hurt, but you should be over it by now! You're even suspended from the team! Why won't you talk anyone?" Ai pleaded.

Rin said nothing as he shoved away the bowl of food, he didn't really like it because to him it had no taste. He stood up, not even sparing a glance towards his roommate as he went and laid down on his bed.

Ai was silently, but Rin could feel the other's eyes on him. He turned towards the wall. The room was deathly silent, the outside noise seemed to stop even.

Finally the scraping of a chair and the clinking o dishes pierced the silence. The almost inaudibly Ai spoke.

"Rin-senpai, I really tried. I just don't think that I can stay in a room I don't feel welcomed in."

Rin didn't acknowledge the statement but was staring at the wall.

Ai continued in the same tone, it was regretful. "I asked captain for a room transfer to be prepared in case this weekend didn't show any improvements."

There was a soft padding sound as the door clicked open. Rin could hear Ai talk to Seijuro, he knew what the conversation was about so he found no reason to eavesdrop, and he would care even if he didn't know.

"I guess this is goodbye." Ai said as he padded back into the room, there was a sound of objects being thrown into a box.

Rin tuned out the sound as he stared at the wall blinking away the blurriness that overcame him suddenly.

"You can talk to me whenever." Were Ai's parting words.

The blurriness was back quicker but Rin just pressed the heel of his palm into his eyes, stopping the blurriness.

He realized that Ai hadn't shut the door, so he got up to close it, giving him privacy at last. When he looked out of the room he saw his former captain and roommate standing, discussing something of importance apparently.

Rin stopped when he heard his name mentioned. He didn't care, but something stopped him from shutting the door.

"I tried captain. I really did." Ai mumbled.

"I know, it's good that you stuck with him this long, but now he's alone. I don't know what else I can do to get him out of this funk." Seijuro rubbed his face, a show of weariness.

"We could always get the guys at Iwatobi involved. They got him to swim when he said he quit, so maybe the can get him out of this, whatever it may be." Ai replied.

Seijuro looked like he was considering it for a second. "It started after he lost to that Haru guy, will it really help?"

Ai shrugged. "At least tell his sister, she can do something that we can't. She'll know what's best for him."

The russet haired male looked uncertain. "I guess I could text Gou-san. She probably should've been told right away now that I think about it."

Rin shut the door, thoroughly disinterested in the conversation now, and his bed was calling his name. He stumbled over to it, as for the third time today his eyes decided that they weren't going to work properly. He fell face first on his bed, and half of him was hanging off. He only grabbed a pillow and pulled it towards him. Easily slipping into the blackness that had become his dreams.

* * *

He woke up surrounded by darkness, it took him a few seconds to figure if he was actually still asleep or if he was awake. But for those few joyous seconds he thought he had finally left the world of pain.

But that was broken as he fully woke up and saw the screen of his cell phone glow. He instinctively reached for the phone, ready to delete the message without reading it, but the ID stopped him.

_New message. Gou. _Was displayed across the screen.

He clicked the read button.

_From: Gou _

_Subject: What's wrong?_

_Samezuka's Captain just called me and told me everything. Since the competition? Please tell me what happened, it isn't good to keep everything bottled up. If you don't respond then I'll tell the guys and they'll come beat some sense into you!_

Rin hit the 'delete' button and shut his phone tossing it off to a corner of the room. He climbed fully onto the bed, and fell right back into the void. His shackles feeling exponentially tighter and more restricting.

* * *

It was another few months of deleting any of the Iwatobi boy's messages, and ignoring Gou's persistent calling. His once lean form was now nothing but a shade of what it had been, his complexion was pale, and he constantly got in trouble for sleeping in class.

But these days it was hard to resist the knowledge that if he just close his eyes he could be away from it all.

He was staring at the wall, in the same position he had been in when Ai gave up on him, which he didn't understand what Ai was even trying to do. But on a whim he gripped his cell phone prepared to delete the usual influx of messages he didn't care to read.

But he did notice that there were a lot more than normal, and that most of them were from Haru and Makato. He accidentally hit the 'read' button instead of delete, but out of laziness he read the message because it was already open.

_From: Haru _

_Subject: Rin reply _

_Rin, I know that you're avoiding us. But give us an answer, the updates we get from that captain and other boy aren't promising. Gou's worried sick, as are Makoto and Nagisa. The theories that Rei's come up with aren't promising. Just give us an answer. Is this abou- _

The message cut of due to message cap being reached. Since he had already read one half of it, he figured that he should read the other half.

_From: Haru _

_Subject: Rin reply_

_t what happened at the race that day? You left so quickly afterwards, and that kid that was always hanging around told us he found you sleeping on the floor. Is that true? _

Rin had no regrets as he hit the delete all button and tossed the phone off to some corner of the room, he heard something that sounded like breaking. He didn't care. After blinking away the blurriness, which had been becoming more frequent in recent days he returned to that comforting sleep.

* * *

When Rin woke up he noted that it was the weekend. His stomach growled but he ignored it in favor of finding a different sleeping position, thankful that the weekend was here so that he could sleep to his heart's content.

Just as he finally got comfortable the door to his room opened up. He opened one of his eyes to see who was entering.

He heard a large group of voices, which he quickly identified the owners. He feigned sleep, but actually didn't this time.

"Rin-chan!" A loud, worried voice, filtered into the normally silent room.

He heard several more people enter his room. They didn't see him right away on account of the wall blocking the bed.

"Rin-chan?" Nagisa whispered.

"Nagisa what's wrong, is he not here?" The voice was kind.

"He's here. But I think he's sleeping." The voice had dropped to a whisper.

"Don't be so certain, he could be or he could be faking it. We don't know anymore." The voice was rough and annoyed.

"Brother!" The only female voice cried. "Wake up!"

Again on a whim Rin opened his eyes, but didn't make any more movement than that, he didn't think that he had the energy do anything more.

Collective gasps filled the room, and Rin could guess why. He was aware of his declining appearance but he couldn't bring himself to care, he wasn't swimming any longer, and he couldn't even keep a promise to himself, much less his father. He had lost to same opponent twice that was unforgivable to him. But he was sure the most startling thing was the disinterest that his eyes held.

"Brother!" Gou did something that she normally didn't and rushed to hug her brother.

Rin remained stationary, not returning or rejecting the hug, instead his eyes focused in on an imperfection on the wall.

"Rin, what's wrong?" Makoto asked watching the exchange, his voice had a worried tilt to it.

Rin said nothing his gaze focusing in on the small spot.

"Rin?" Makoto tried again.

"Rin-san?" Rei stepped in this time. "Can you talk to us?"

Nagisa actually frowned something that was unusual on the blond's face. "So they were being serious about him not reacting to anything."

Rin saw Makoto and Rei exchange a look. Gou was still wrapped around him, Nagisa was looking around the room, and Haru hadn't said anything but continued to stare directly at Rin.

Finally he saw Ai and Seijuro standing in the doorway. They were looking at the Iwatobi boys with something unreadable in their eyes.

"Make sure to tell me when you're leaving so that I can check you out in the guest book." Was all the captain said before he pushed himself off of the door frame. Ai bowed in farewell and followed after his captain shutting the door behind him.

The room grew silent. Rin continued to stare at the wall, and there was only a little bit of shifting going around, no one seemed able to speak.

Finally Gou broke the silence. "Rin, brother, what's wrong?"

Rin ignored his sister. The others looked surprised at this. The looked at each other, having a silent conversation.

Finally Rei broke the silence. "Maybe we should try and talk to him one at a time?"

The other's nodded in agreement.

Makoto took charge easily. "Gou will go first its only right."

"Then Haru?" Nagisa suggested.

"I have a feeling I'm the last person he wants to see." Haru spoke almost sadly. "I'll go last."

"Alright, so I guess the order will be Gou, me, Nagisa, Rei, and then Haru?" Makoto suggested.

* * *

Words of assent were spoken, and Rin didn't care that they were talking about him like he wasn't in the room. The boys left leaving him and his sister alone.

Gou pulled back enough that she was sitting next to her brother.

"Nii-san what's wrong?" Gou asked.

Rin didn't reply more than shifting his gaze to a different spot on the room.

"Was it something we did?"

Again no reply.

"Was it someone specific that's causing you to act like this?"

No reply.

Gou stood up. "Nii-san! Was it Haru-senpai?"

Nothing.

Gou through her hands up in frustration. "I can't help you if you don't talk! If you won't talk to me, at least talk to someone else!"

* * *

With that she stormed out of the room. Rin moved so that he was now leaning against the wall, he was tempted to fall back asleep.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Makoto walk into his room. The brunette sat down in the chair and played with his thumbs for a few seconds.

"So…" Makoto started. "How have you been?"

Rin stared at the wall just past Makoto's head.

"Stupid question." Makoto rubbed the back of his head. "So, have you been eating properly? You're looking a little thin."

Rin didn't reply, not that he would, all he wanted to do was return the void.

"You should add more protein to build that weight up, after all if you're too thin then you won't be able to swim like you're used to."

Rin internally winced, not showing Makoto though. He was aware that he wouldn't be able to swim in his current body weight, he wasn't sure that he could even get in the water again if he was at his full weight.

"Alright Rin. I wanted to ease into the subject but you're making it difficult." Sluggishly Rin realized that Makoto was in his big brother mode.

"Rin what happened that day? Haru said you left without saying anything after the race. Nitori-san said that he found you _sleeping _on a _locker room floor."_

Rin only shifted his gaze so that he wasn't going to look at the stern face that Makoto had on. He gazed out towards the window, noting that his eyes were starting to get blurry, but he wasn't ready to get rid of the blurriness yet.

"I know something happened. I'll help you however way that I can, just talk to me! Please Rin!"

Makoto begging for something was rare, but it raised no reaction out of Rin. Instead silence filled the room, which was a common things these days.

There was no telling how long the two sat in the room together. Rin staring out of the window and Makoto watching him. Finally the brunette sighed as he stood up.

"You know, that's the worst thing about you Rin, your pride."

Makoto left the room. Rin remained where he was sitting and looking, the blurriness having got to an unbearable state he quickly pressed on his eyes while he was alone to get it to go away.

* * *

Nagisa walked into the room, it seemed like all of his usual energy seemingly evaporated.

"Rin-chan, why won't you talk to anyone?" Nagisa stated bluntly. "It's not like if you come clean to someone you'll be seen as weak."

Rin stirred, but not enough to alert Nagisa that he was actually affected. _No, I'm already seen as weak. I know I'm weak, it's not like I'm trying to prove a point. I just like the blackness better than reality. _

"You used to be so carefree and open. I felt like I could talk to you about anything, and I did. I want to extend that kindness to you know, but you won't take it. Why?"

Nagisa sounded close to crying. "Why don't you trust us anymore?"

"Rin-chan! I missed you. You have no idea how happy I was to see you again. But you're like this." Nagisa paused. "I have to wonder if the real Rin-chan ever came back."

Nagisa walked quickly out of the room, quicker the Makoto but slower than Gou. He hesitated at the door. But walked out.

* * *

Rin slumped down so that he was laying on the bed, he decided that he would close his eyes hoping to detour Rei.

The former track athlete walked in a sat in the chair that previously held Nagisa.

"Rin-san, I do not know you as the others do, but I still feel like I have to try and get you out of…" Rei hesitated as if he was searching for the correct word, "this."

Rei didn't let the room fall silent as the others did. "I actually found your butterfly stroke to be beautiful, it stunned me. I actually started to incorporate the style into my own. To get your power but have my own grace with it."

Rei inhaled. "I don't claim to know everything. Like I don't know why you let yourself get suspended, but I would like it if you started swimming again. At least for _their _sake. They admire you so much."

Rei stood up. "I don't have anything encouraging to say because I've never been in the same situation, but you're worrying the people you care about most. You can bet on it."

Rei walked out of the room, not quickly, nor did he hesitate, but he walked out with a sense of accomplishment.

Rin felt the blurriness return tenfold as he let the words that the other boy said resonate in the room. He also knew who was coming next.

* * *

He quickly rubbed his eyes to get rid of the blurriness. He sat up again, preparing himself to deal with _his _presence.

A few minutes later, a longer break time than the others, he heard the door slowly open followed by soft footfalls.

"Rin." Haru greeted, it seemed cold.

Rin kept his gaze trained on the window.

"Look at me." Haru commanded gently.

Rin ignore him.

"Rin." The tone was harsher this time.

Nothing.

Suddenly a hand shot out and grabbed Rin but the collar of his shirt. Haru was holding him at eye level. Rin's eyes were forced to meet the others, and he could see the anger, confusion, and hurt barely scratch the surface of those blue orbs.

"Rin what's gotten into you?" Haru's voice was filled with emotion that was so rare in his voice. "All you do apparently is bare minimum of what you have to and sleep!"

Rin started to look towards the wall, but Haru brought his head around to look at him in the eyes once again, Rin gave up trying to look elsewhere.

"You don't talk anymore, you're suspended from the swim team, and you look like you haven't eaten properly in weeks!" Haru's voice was raising in pitch. "What happened to make you like this? Was it me at the race that day?"

Rin tried his hardest not to look affected by those words. He blinked in quick succession fending off the blurriness.

Haru pressed on. "If it was, then why don't you just talk to me about it? I thought we were over you wanting to quit every time you lose!"

Rin knew that if Haru let go of him he would fall to the ground. He tried his hardest to not look affected but the words that were being yelled at him where starting to strike a chord with him.

"Rin, we're friends, everyone who has tried to help you are your friends. Can't you trust us? Or are you that weak that you can't even talk to someone?"

Haru suddenly shut up and Rin actually met the other's gaze on his own free will. Haru looked so shocked that he had actually said that, his normally emotionless eyes where filled with regret and shock quickly.

"Rin…" Haru said in a much calmer voice. "I didn't mean that. I just hate the fact that you can't seem to trust us. I hate that you had to go through so much and we couldn't help you. I hate that now when we're here and you can talk to us, you don't."

Haru took a step back, letting Rin's shirt go in the process. "If you find your voice, call me. I want to help, but if you refuse to speak then there is not much that I can do."

Rin was more surprised that he was able to remain standing without support. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Haru left through the door, closing it softly behind him. Once he heard the sounds of retreating footsteps he allowed himself to fall to his knees, doubled over.

He finally understood why his eyes were blurring as he stared at the door that his former friend turned rival had just shut. They were for all the times he just wanted to cry, to let someone know how much he hurt. And now that he had reached that point. No one was around to give him a shoulder to cry one.

It wasn't like he could stand up and go after the others. There was some invisible force that was holding him down making him unable to stand any longer.

He wasn't able to speak any longer to cry for help, for them to come back, so instead he just stayed hunched over on the cold floor letting the tears fall freely.

He could no longer swim as he wished, instead he knew that he was drowning, that he would soon be beneath the surface.

Since his voice was lost to him as the cries wracked his considerably weakened body. He did the only thing that was left to him.

He mouthed a single sentence that no one could see, that no one would ever know was formed.

'_Save me, Haru!' _

After that sentence was formed he was forcibly pulled into the black.

* * *

**I'm a fucking sadist, I know leaving you all with a cliffhanger. But perhaps there will be a sequel, actually this was going to be resolved in one-shot, but if I continued with the resolution. I would lose the actual tone of the story, and I wanted it nice and angsty. So my dear friend who submitted this prompt, I hope you like it! Please leave your thoughts below. Later! ~IF **


	2. Silent

**Coming back with the sequel which took me a week to complete. Yeesh. So I hope that you enjoy the conclusion! So see you at the bottom!**

**DISCLAIMER I DO NOT OWN Free!**

* * *

_The blackness had a different feel to it. This time it wasn't at all comforting like it had been for the past few months, but instead it was consuming, like it was trying to take the life right out of him. _

_This blackness was cold and hateful. Much like he had been when he returned from Australia and then in recent months he returned to that personality. _

_That was the first time he realized that he had a "physical" body in this world. He looked down at himself, noticing that he looked like he did before the… he wasn't sure what he should call it happened. _

_In a panic he began to look around for anything that could be of use to get him out of this mess. His eyes darted around wildly. He didn't want this blackness again, he'd take defeat over this any day. _

_**Rin-san! Wake up**__! _

'_What? Who?'__Rin thought to himself._

_**Rin-chan, you really are strong! Please come on! **_

"_Strong? Come where? Who are you?" Rin continued to yell, the voices were loud, so they had to be close_.

_**Rin, you've got to fight, for your sake, and ours! **_

"_Who's sake? I don't even know who this is!"_ _Rin continued his voice shaky with panic. _

_**Nii-san. You promised you'd always be there for me. So please just wake up. **_

'_Nii-san?' Rin asked himself. "Who…?_

_**Rin, I know you can fight this. Just remember what it felt like when you were finally free! Wake up so you can swim with us again. **_

_That voice he knew. "Haru? What's happening? Why do you sound like you're in pain? Who else is with you?"_

_Rin waited for what seemed like an eternity, which it every well could've been, there was no way to tell time. _

"_Haru!" Rin cried out. He suddenly realized who would've been with Haru. "Makoto, Nagisa, Rei! Gou!"_

_There was no echo, no chance that he could've been heard. He wasn't even sure that he uttered a sound, it could've easily been swallowed by the darkness. _

_Rin bowed his head, letting himself cry. "Someone, anyone. Please."_

_When he looked up again there was small pinpoint of light. He started to use whatever strength he could summon to fight this blackness and stand up. He ignored how cold the blackness suddenly got, and how much the hate burned him. He also decided that he wouldn't dwell on the fact that he was cold and getting burned at the same time. _

_With each in he stood he felt himself get freer and closer to that pinpoint. But it seemed like the blackness didn't want to let him go, but using every last ounce of strength that he had he broke free and got pulled to the light._

* * *

One he emerged on the other side, he realized that he wasn't on the floor which he knew was the last place that he had been conscious. But instead of opening his eyes right away he let himself adjust to the sounds and smell of the place that he was in.

It smelled sterile, and he was sure he heard that sounded like a heart monitor. But his hearing was still fuzzy. Giving it a few minutes, he let his hearing return listening patiently for anything to give him a better idea of what had happened.

"Doctor?" The voice was soft and clearly female.

"Yes?" A voice replied it was kind, but sounded a little stern.

"What exactly is wrong with my brother?"

_Gou. _Rin's groggy mind supplied.

The man that must be a doctor replied. "We aren't entirely sure, we know how to treat him, but the effects are something that we haven't seen."

"Just tell me what's wrong! He's been unconscious, or in a coma, or whatever; for seventeen days!" Gou sounded close to crying.

Rin winced. _Because of me. She's upset because of me. _

"Our best guess, is that something traumatic caused his neurons to misfire, which caused a chemical imbalance in his brain and no one was able to detect that he was actually acting this way because it was medical. Also you mentioned he hadn't been speaking? That's because the misfire happened in the Broca's Area. A part of the brain that controls speech."

A voice spoke up. It was lacking confidence. "Would losing a swimming race cause this?"

_Haru, are you going to blame this on yourself? I might hit you if that's the case._

"It is possible." The man responded.

There was the sound of a door opening and closing. Then a silence filled the room only being broken by the sound of the heart monitor. Rin tried furiously attempting to open his eyes but no matter what he tried he couldn't get them to open.

"Shall we go Kou-chan?" Makoto asked. "We still have school in the morning, and a practice."

There was a paused. "I guess. Give me a second?"

"I'll be outside."

Rin listened as he heard footsteps and then the door opening and closing.

"Good night, nii-san. Makoto-senpai is walking me home again." Gou said quietly.

_God bless for Makoto's kindness. _Rin would've sighed if he could. He knew that Makoto didn't live anywhere near his house so the fact that he was still walking Gou home was something Rin could never repay. Especially since he knew he was the reason his sister was staying out so late.

"Haru-senpai, don't stay to late either." Gou said in a soft but strict voice.

"Good night Gou." Haru's monotonous voice replied.

Her footsteps grew softer until she reached the door. Rin stopped listening and instead focused on the sounds closer to him. He still didn't have complete feeling in his body and he really wanted to get into a more comfortable position. So he settled with trying to guess how many time the heart monitor went off during a minutes.

"So it is my fault."

Rin had forgotten that Haru was there because he was so silent. He wanted to give the other his full attention and to tell him it wasn't his fault, because obviously it wasn't just his angsty teen self getting in the way, but instead a serious illness or something.

"What I said to you, I was the last person that spoke to you, and we aren't even sure how long you were unconscious. The guy's at your school said they hadn't seen you for a week so when that kid that always hangs around you came to see what happened he found you similar to like how you are now."

_Wow, Haru you're talking a lot. I guess it makes sense, since I can't at the moment. _

"It seems like I can't stop hurting you. At one point weren't we best friends?"

Rin paused to consider that question, not that he was doing anything earth shattering. _I suppose it was a long time ago, but we were._

"So I'm going. Visiting hours are technically over now. Good night and I'm sorry."

There was a screeching sound. _Haru must've been sitting next to me. _Rin thought idly.

Once he was sure that Haru was gone, he sighed as he tried to open his eyes several more times, and it was like he just didn't have the strength to do so. He didn't want to try and return to sleep in fear of actually returning to that void. That scared in the most. He was barely able to get out of that place the first time. He wasn't sure he could do it a second time.

So he stayed behind the darkness of his eyes lids, every now and then trying to open them but it was futile.

At some point he noticed that the sky was beginning lighten, or he thought so because his eye lids were also light.

Also throughout the day Rin heard people enter and leave. He figured that they were nurses or his doctor or something. He felt detached considering that he could only hear things and had no way of telling the passage of time.

Frustrated he tried to force his eyes open this time. He succeed. But he rapidly shut them again as light assaulted his eyes that he wasn't prepared for the sudden brightness. He cracked them open allowing them to slowly adjust. Once they were fully opened he took a look around the room noting that there was a man who looked young despite the gray starting to appear in his hair.

Rin turned to look at him, wondering who the hell he was and why he was in his hospital room.

"Ah Matsuoka-san, you're awake." The man clapped his hands.

Rin tried to say something but his throat protested, as he hadn't used it for so long. The doctor handed him water, still smiling kindly.

While the water helped, Rin still found that he was unable to talk.

The doctor seemed to pick up on this. "According to your friends you haven't spoken for a long time, your voice box is probably weak from the disuse. Nothing permanent. You should slowly regain your full ability to speak at a later point in time."

Rin didn't fail to notice the 'should', and the fact that doctor seemed like he was hiding something. He attempted to convey to the man that he wasn't convinced. The doctor completely missed the look.

Sighing the swimmer looked around the room for something that he could use to write with. He found a pad and a pin by his desk with the hospital logo on it. Rin quickly snatched it and began to write down what it was he wanted to say.

_That's not the main reason I can't is it? I've never heard of a voice box weakening. _

He held the pad up in the direction of the doctor who took it and read it, his kind smile turning into a frown.

"That's true. I had hoped that I could break it to you when we had more concrete evidence, but it appears that you're rather clever."

Rin ignored the attempt to soften the blow and waited for the doctor just to tell him.

"Well it seems that your neurons in your brain misfired in the area known as the Broca's Area, a place that controls speech. We don't know to what affect it will have on you, but now that you're awake we may be able to get more concrete evidence."

Rin felt something in his stomach clench at the thought of him losing his speech, not like he was good with words anyway, but is the fact that he wouldn't be able to that bugged him.

All he could do was nod.

The doctor smiled sadly before handing the paper back to the teen. "I didn't tell anyone about it. As I felt it would be invading your privacy, and your parents never asked if anything would be affected they were just relieved that you're alive."

He paused. "Do you want me to tell them?"

Rin shook his head quickly. He would do it on his own time when he knew for sure if he was going to lose his ability to speak.

The doctor nodded. "Alright. Well your friends will be here soon so I suspect that it will get loud, so I'll get out of the way now. See you in roughly ninety minutes."

He walked away and out of the room.

Rin sighed looking around for something to alleviate his boredom, and his anxiety about seeing his friends.

He figured that he doctor meant the ones that he heard last night, Makoto, Gou, and Haru. He was most apprehensive about seeing Haru, he wasn't sure what he would write to the other teen as it was going to be awkward either way.

He focused on the window outside of his room, before he remembered that he had a TV right in front of him. He quickly turned it on to some anime about a model wanting to be a hero or something.

That show ended and another episode of the same anime appeared. He was about halfway through the episode when the door opened. He heard the voices before he saw them.

"Hey, the TV is on." The voice stating the obvious sounded suspiciously like his captain, former captain, he winced as he corrected himself.

"Maybe one of the nurses forget to turn it off?" That was Ai.

Rin sat up straighter, not sure what he was expecting from his two former teammates. Maybe a lecture, or they would be surprised because they were only planning on visiting for a little while out of respect. Rin struggled not to make a sound at the possible scenario.

"Probably, but have they ever had it on?" Seijuro replied.

The two had stopped walking apparently, to discuss the TV.

_They must have little faith that I'd wake up. _Rin tried to ignore how bitter and hurt his own thoughts sounded.

"I don't think so." Ai paused. "You don't think?"

The captain quickly cut the younger boy off. "Nitori, don't get your hopes up. You know what they say the longer that a person is in a coma the harder it is for them to wake up. He's been in one for almost three weeks, possibly four since we don't know exactly when he collapsed. The odds aren-"

"Captain! Don't say that! Rin-senpai is stronger than that. They even said that his behavior was because of a medical condition not because he lost!" Ai responded hotly.

Rin widened his eyes in surprise. He had never heard the smaller male get so… aggressive. He was surprised that Ai was actually able to cut their captain off and finish what he was saying without trailing off into an apology.

"Nitori!" The captain's voice sounded like a bark. "I don't want that either, but I'm preparing myself for that day. Because I'm partly responsible for this, I should've sense something was wrong with him, because now that I look back at it, it's almost like he wasn't aware of the world around him. He always looked zoned out."

Rin cringed. He felt bad that the captain was attempting to take the blame. He zone out for a few seconds knowing that Ai would respond with something similar.

Finally the two walked passed the curtains, and Rin held his breath as the swimmers stared at him. A stunned silence filled the room.

"Matsuoka?"

"Rin-senpai?"

Came out as harsh whispers at the same time. Their stunned expressions were matching, and Rin found it humorous as they looked to each other and back to Rin a few times before the surged forward looking pleased.

They were talking so fast that Rin couldn't catch what they were saying, then after they finished whatever it was they had said or asked they looked at Rin expectantly. Rin could only blink.

"Rin-senpai?" Ai asked after a few minutes of silence.

Rin reached for the pad and wrote down what he had wanted to say.

_You guys were talking over each other, I have no clue what you said. My voice box is damaged from disuse so I have to write what I want to say before you ask. _

He tossed the pad over to his captain, who read it out loud for Ai's benefit. They both nodded at the end the quick note.

"Well, I asked how you were doing?" Seijuro cleared his throat.

Rin stuck up his thumb and gestured for his pad back, then he wrote what he wanted to say.

_I feel incredibly rested. _

He tossed it back to the waiting captain, who didn't look amused by the words.

"Very funny. You had us all worried." Seijuro replied, this time he set the pad down next to Rin.

He grabbed it a jotted down something quickly. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault Rin-senpai!" Ai said with confidence. "No one was able to see this coming, it was just bad luck that it lasted as long as it did!"

Rin nodded towards the younger male. Who seemed comforted by the gesture. The three spent a little while talking about little things, laughing at the anime that was on TV, and just relaxing.

Eventually that was ended as the doctor came in.

"See ya Rin. We're heading off now." Seijuro waved as he headed out of the room; following by a bowing Ai.

The doctor waited until they were gone before he spoke. "We're going to go get a CAT scan now that you're awake, see if your lack of speech is permanent or not."

Rin nodded unable to protest, not that there was a reason. Though rolling down the hospital in a bed was a new experience, which he found amusing. What was even more interesting was the CAT scanner. He wasn't sure how to describe the feeling of laying still while the table beneath him moved, knowing the large round device he was moving through was taking pictures of his brain.

He shuddered when he was told that he could move.

His doctor walked with him while they headed up to the room. "The area that was affected is small so it may take a while for them to be completely studied. So please be patient."

Rin nodded, it wasn't like he had places to be. He was wheeled back to his surprisingly empty room. He had expected the others to show up.

"They normally don't come until after the meal time." The doctor filled in, almost as if he was sensing his question.

Rin looked to see his badge, realizing now that he had no idea what the man's name is.

_Abeno Eita, M.D _

Rin shrugged to himself. His curiosity was quelled and now he had to wait for the hammer to fall when he saw the next group of people that were willing to visit him.

He laid back on the bed watching a live game show that he didn't understand about people that were causing too much drama to be legal.

Though slowly lost focus on the screen and fell asleep, apparently he could use all of his energy up when he wasn't doing anything even though he was almost asleep for a month.

When he woke up again he felt that there were more presences in his room than when he had gone to sleep.

He cracked an eye open in curiosity and spotted a shade of red that was similar to his own hair. Looking around more, enough that it wouldn't raise suspension he also saw a familiar mess of brown hair.

_So they're here. This will be… interesting. _

Inhaling mentally, Rin opened his eyes and looked around innocently. He quickly looked around to see who was in the room while there was silence.

Makoto was standing by Gou to his left, Nagisa and Rei were by the foot of his bed. Finally he glanced to his right. There next to him was Haru. Once the who was established he looked at their reactions. All of them were wearing varied expressions of shock, surprise, happiness, or relief. Makoto's eyes were as large as plates but a grin was starting to break out on his face. Gou was smiling but also looking like she was about to cry. Rei was trying to act cool by adjusting his glasses that had slid down his face in his surprise and Nagisa was grinning from ear to eat looking like he was having trouble containing himself from running up and hugging Rin. The once the swimmer got to Haru, he was amused by the shock that was etched across the usually expressionless face, but it was slowly morphing into one of pure relief.

They seemed like they were slowly getting out of their initial reactions, Haru lagging behind the others in comp rending the scene.

Suddenly Rin was assaulted from his side. Gou had launched herself at her brother and was now hugging him like her life depended on it. She was mumbling things that were incoherent but Rin could guess what she was saying.

After a rather long hug Gou finally pulled back smiling.

"I'm so glad you're alright!" She said. Rin knew that he was in for a lecture right after due to her tone.

Gou didn't disappoint. "What were you thinking? You should've told someone that something was wrong instead of treating it like it was one of your moods. We could've stopped it from getting this bad, but as usual you refused to be helped!"

Rin smiled sheepishly. Reaching for the pad that was lying next to him on the table.

_Sorry, but even I didn't know what was happening. _

He handed the pad to Gou. She read it, but confusion made her brow furrow.

"Why didn't you just say that?" She asked.

Rin gestured for the pad and she handed it back.

_That's because my voice box is weak from disuse. _

Rin gave it back to her quickly, she read it just as fast. "Oh. I guess that makes sense."

After Gou and Rin had there reunion everyone else started to speak. It was basically the same thing, that they were happy to see him awake, that they were worried, and that he should be more careful.

Yet Haru hadn't said a thing. Rin didn't want to focus on just one person, so he let it slide. Haru was Haru after all, he did things that Rin really didn't get.

Hours later, the guys and Gou said that they were going home. The waved farewells and headed out of the room. Rin knew that Haru was sitting next to me, so he turned his gaze onto Haru. Wondering what it was he was planning to say.

There were some minutes of silence, Rin couldn't very well break it and Haru looked like he was deep in thought. Just as Rin was going to turn away, Haru spoke.

"I was the one that found you."

Rin cocked an eyebrow.

"I couldn't leave things the way they were. I was going to try to reach you again, try something different. But when I got to your room and saw that the door was locked…" He paused gathering himself. "I walked into your room and saw you collapsed on the floor. I didn't know what to do, I just called for your captain."

Rin nodded along. He was well aware of Haru's reactions to emergencies. He could either be extremely efficient about them or have no clue.

"I couldn't think straight. All I could think of was that I was the one that made you like that." Haru sighed. "Now you're here, and I have a feeling you know more than you're letting on."

Rin shrugged rummaging around for his pad. Finally he found it.

_It's not your fault. It's whatever my brain decided to do. _

Rin tossed into Haru's lap. The other swimmer looked at it surprised before he read it.

"But I could've been the one to cause it. He said a large enough shock could've caused it, you looked pretty shocked after the race." Haru protested.

Rin grabbed the pad back before writing something else.

_Or it was bad timing that this misfire or whatever happened right after the race, but you shouldn't blame yourself. I won't allow it. _

This time he took the bad when Rin was finished writing.

"But-"

Rin gave him a pointed look and Haru dropped the subject. The red-haired teen reached for the pad once again. Before writing another note.

_Thank you for saving me. _

Haru looked confused when he read the note. Rin chuckled breathily, as he couldn't make that much of a sound. He knew what he meant, but Haru was left in the dark.

Maybe someday Rin would tell him. Right now he was just pleased that his voice had been heard by the universe.

* * *

**There you have it. I'm leaving the whether or not he's going to be mute forever or temporary to your imagination. Leave your thoughts below! Later! ~IF**


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